I am grateful and overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and well wishes. Here are a few more reflections. Thank you for your examples, wisdom and patience. I am because we are! Ubuntu!
The pics are from last night’s celebration – we ordered out, they picked it up, I set us up and added a few bottles of wine. it was delightful. And some pics of my favorite couples, families and role models.
[Pictured: These glasses were a wedding gift my parents received at their wedding in 1947! The plates were a gift We received from Ronald Braithwaite for our wedding in 1995.]
Might as well go with 7 more lessons learned. It’s an outpouring. I’m overflowing with gratitude.
1. Nurture friendships with other couples. There is nothing like being reminded you are not alone! John and I laughed with Alvin and Gina this week (who’re also celebrating 26 years) so hard our bellies still hurt!!!
2. Apologize! And mean it. And then move the hell on. Do not keep bringing up the past mistakes.
3. Date night is for real. If quality time or affection is your love language, you don’t even need to spend money. If it’s gifts or experiences, even acts of service – money will be required. The definition of a date: no distractions like hw with the kids or dishes to wash. But game night with the kids or friends or a tv show binge marathon with your favorite snacks or DJing for each other – those are awesome at-home nearly free dates.
4. Don’t be mad when they don’t wanna talk about work and vice versa. Find a way to keep them abreast of major shifts, key people and ahas in your work space. In small doses.
5. Have a sanctuary space, a corner chair, a spot in the kids room, somewhere that it’s known you go for some quiet time.
6. About the bedroom – give them what you know they need. “Research” says men usually need some at least 4 times a week. You know what keeps your partner happy in both frequency and style. Do that and let them know what keeps you happy. Don’t be shy!!!
7. When you really wanna go (to that party or shower or homegoing or whatever), just go whether they go or not. John, (solo mostly if you recall) loves to say, ‘Let’s not and say we did.’ In a pandemic, I’ve come to appreciate that option. I still suffer some FOMO and am getting better at making my own decisions. #itsouranniversary#folamionfamily#datenight
